Goals: Can you handle the adversity? 65 Yard Field Goal - $65K in Scholarships!

I had an amazing week last week in the San Luis Valley speaking with high school students about goal setting and careers. I was so inspired by these individuals and their abilities to achieve great things!  I made a public statement that a new goal I have is to kick a 65 yard field goal at a college football game next fall and give a $1000 per yard away in scholarships to some of the students in attendance. Well, accountability would state that if you say it then you have to do it.  So....I am waking up around 5:30 to 5:45 am each day and working out to include weight training and any aerobic exercise I can muster up.  I have cleared the snow in a portion of my front yard in order to practice kicking.  The net goes up and the footballs get kicked!  Thanks to snow blowers I was able to easily clear a portion of my yard!

I noticed my neighbor looking out the window attempting to figure out what I was doing.  To the occasional individual driving by surely is created some sense of curiosity.  You see when we set a goal that seems impossible not only to others but to ourselves as well, we need to know our Adversity Quotient.  The students in the San Luis Valley know what Adversity Quotient is.  Adversity Quotient basically states your ability to handle challenges and change.  Think about how you handle challenges.  Do you find yourself getting "flustered" easily by the smallest of challenges or change?  If so, your quotient is in the low range. Note that you can change your level through your approach.  Begin to change your outlook and visualize the positive in all you do.  Positive in means positive out.  We are the creators of our issues and therefore the creators of doubt.  We can't allow doubt and fear to seep in, we must maintain courage. So, back to the discussion about goals.  Obstacles are always going to make their way into our path.  How we handle them will help determine the outcome.  There is a great amount of snow on the ground and the weather is cold.  I removed the snow and dressed warm.  These obstacles were there, but not going to deter me from my goal. What about those who are questioning my actions? What about those who say I'm too old and that I have no prior experience?  I can't allow those ideals to overcome my mind and way of thinking. I have purpose!  In order to truly accomplish a goal, we must seek the underlying purpose to it.  To just kick a 65 yard field goal is one thing, but to kick it to help others in their quest is another.  The true purpose behind my goal is to show myself and others that I can accomplish something and at the same time help many students financially with their goal to get a college education. When we develop the purpose behind our goals, we develop a strong reason to continue in the face of adversity.  I may or I may not make the 65 yard field goal, but either way I am creating action.  What if I only kick a 35 yard field goal and give away only $35,000? I am getting in shape physically as this is a personal benefit!  I have at least created something that did not exist prior.  Oh, another obstacle is the money.  I still have no idea how I am going to find or create the funds to pull this off.  And, is there any college that will even allow me to kick during their game next fall?  CU? You see, when we create action in our goals we create possibilities.  We can't just sit around wishing or dreaming it, we need to create actions in order to create reactions.  Just the journey alone may inspire others to seek goals they have long been putting off!  Others may be so inspired that they decide to give to the cause and generate action on their behalf to help in the goal we are moving towards.  We need to get up and do something!

Don't be consumed by the "I can't" "You can't" "That's crazy!" and other statements that you and others create.  Write your goal with "will" statements and that will help you create action.  I sat around talking about kicking the field goal, but I needed to create action!  So I did!  Will you create actions in your lives to reach those outcomes you desire?  How do your goals assist others in their lives?   We all  need to take action and find meaning behind our action.  Trust in your abilities and know that all things happen for a reason.  Even if you fail, you create an opportunity to learn and grow.  From all things in life comes good as long as we create action and do not become overwhelmed by the adversities that show up in our paths.  I would love your support in this goal and would love to support you in your endeavors!  Contact me today and lets take on life's journeys together!

Set up the net (the plan), place the ball (the goal) and kick (action)!

Adversity is only as difficult as you allow it to be!

There has been a term around since 1997 coined "Adversity Quotient".  This basically states our capacity to deal with adversities or how we respond to challenges.  We all handle change and challenges differently as we process the information at different levels.  What is your level of adversity?  How do you respond to challenges that face you?  Have you ever observed a situation where an issue hits several individuals at the same time?  What happens?  Some of the individuals begin to panic, others get stressed to some degree and yet others take an "I can do" attitude.  But weren't they all hit with the same issue?

We determine the degree of difficulty in our issues we face based on our approach.  We either can allow the issue to consume us or we can accept the issue and consume it.  Let me give you an example:  I was 20 years old and had just finished the Spring semester at college.  I was out riding my bike on an 8 mile trek prior to going to work on the Friday before Memorial Day Weekend.  I was about 8 blocks from home when a major issue occurred  in my life.  The front wheel of my bike released and I immediately found myself sliding down the street on my face and then flipping a few times.  I stood up thinking I was going to have a huge burn on my face.  I couldn't see out my right eye, but decided to lightly touch my face.  I found that my hands immediately slid on my skull and that teeth and flesh were not where they were supposed to be.  The blood began to flow intensely. I was about to panic when a voice told me I was okay and to lay down face first in the grass.  I was immediately cared for.  I began attempting to tell jokes to those at my aid.  Lets fast forward to the hospital.  As they were moving me from the "cart" to the x-ray table, the power went out and they almost dropped me.  I began laughing as much as I could.  My thoughts looked at the humor of what was going to happen next.  I had no choice as the accident had occurred and I couldn't change that, but I could change the future outcomes.  The next day I walked into the bathroom.  As I was going to wash my hands, I was going to see myself for the first time.  I had thousands of stitches in my face and inside my mouth.  I had my jaws wired and was in intense pain.  I slowly began to move my face toward the mirror so that I could see the end result.  I remember that moment distinctly as I was about to see what I had been dealt.  When I first saw the image, I couldn't believe it and had to decide how I was going to handle it.  What could I do?  Could I change anything?  What was my level of adversity?  I exited the bathroom with my friend waiting to help me back to the hospital bed.  He looked at me with a face of deep concern.  I sighed and with a tone of disappointment I said, "I wish it was October and Halloween.  I have the perfect mask!"  We both laughed or I laughed as much as I could without ripping the stitches.  That was it.  I had to move forward.  The next year found me facing more and more challenges because of this one bike ride.  To this day I still have issues, but know that I have a life and a story to share in order to help others.

You see.  We all face challenges and issues throughout our lives.  No matter how big or how small, it is our approach that will get us through it.  We need to take on the challenge knowing that we will use our experience someday to help another.  When I hear someone say, "Things happen for a reason", I know it is true.  We may never lose the pain or the continued challenges because of a situation, but we must learn to continue to move forward.  We can't change what has happened, so why worry about yesterday.  We can only change tomorrow through our actions today, so why worry about tomorrow.  You see, I could have become depressed and created a life of depression because of that one split second in my life.  I chose, just as you should choose, to find a way to continue my life with confidence and knowing that I will make a difference in someone else's life.  Please look at your ability to handle the challenges you face in life.  You have a choice.  What level is your adversity quotient?  Will you find the good that comes from everything we face in life?  Will you work through the hurt and find the reason? Or, will you quit, become addicted to some drug and self medicate, or make excuses?  Choose life and look at the challenges to help you grow and become a beacon for others in this life.

I want to hear your story, share your pain and help you overcome your obstacles and turn them into opportunities.  Go to my website at www.thetajlgroup.com and contact me today!  Choose to live!

How to make a "New Year's Resolution" a reality!

Only 8 to 12% of us actually are successful with our New Year's Resolutions.  I want to share with you how you can make your 2014 New Year's Resolutions a reality.  We need to keep things simple and enjoy the process. 

There are six simple steps in achieving success with your resolution.

1.  "Change the Name" - Move away from calling your 2014 goal a "resolution".  Make it a name that is unique for you.  The name should help motivate you to move forward with your goal.  You may want to call it your Amazing Adventure, your Cause, your New Life Adventure  .....whatever motivates you.  Creating a "resolution" utilizing the word "resolution" can possibly set you up for failure.  With having not accomplished your "resolutions" in prior years, you may subconsciously associate "resolution" with lack of success.  Make your resolution fun and personalize it! 

2. "Define your Ultimate Purpose" - You need to look deep into the "why" you have set the "resolution" in the first place.  As an example; wanting to lose weight isn't defined enough for you to actually accomplish it.  You will need to seek the reason you are wanting to lose the weight.  Defining the deeper purpose will help increase and define your accountability.  You should also ask yourself, "Does this make sense?"  Is this really a "resolution" you should be seeking?  Make sure it is attainable, isn't going to harm you, is necessary, and helps promote your life fulfillment.  Take some time to develop your "resolution"  and don't rush into it.

3.  "There is always a Cost" - Nothing in life is for free. There is always a cost associated with everything we do.  In business there is a term called "opportunity cost".  Opportunity cost simply means; "What you are willing to give up today for something tomorrow - or - What you are willing to give up tomorrow for something today."  Using the weight loss "resolution", are you willing to give up that donut today for the weight loss tomorrow?  Whatever adventure you decide to take on for the New Year, try to find out what the costs are going to be.  If you understand that there are going to be some sacrifices ahead of time, you will be prepared to handle them as they come.  Go back and remember your ultimate purpose in order help you get through those sacrifices.

4.  "Plan it Out" - Take a few minutes to map out your adventure, your "resolution".  Keep it simple and lay out some milestones.  Don't create a complicated plan, just set some deadlines that help you accomplish small steps as you travel through your "resolution".  Create some celebrations that you can utilize along the way as you reach those milestones.  Understand that you must reinforce your successes and not dwell on your set backs.  Focus on what is working and make adjustments along the way to ensure that you stay on your path to success.

5.  "Be Flexible" - Learn to "Champion Change" and be prepared to alter your original resolution".  Know that you can turn your obstacles into opportunities if you create a mind set that is accepting of change.  Be the change and seek the change.  Feedback is essential in achieving what you are attempting to accomplish.  Seek feedback from those around you and listen to yourself.  What is your body telling you?  How are your emotions?  Make adjustments in order to obtain that "resolution".  What is working today may not work tomorrow.  Lose your stubbornness and be open to altering your plan.

6.  "Try, Try Again" - If it isn't working, don't give up.  You can't just wish it or pray it, you have to create action.  Your action will lead to your success, not your "daydreams."  Don't let December 2014 arrive and you haven't made any progress on your "resolution".  If you are failing, go back and redefine your purpose. Reevaluate your plan and make the changes necessary to reach your "resolution". Your success will be determined by your determination and resolve.  Keep going as you never know when you are going to break through and reach the stars!

Whatever you do, keep it simple.   Try setting a small "resolution" and after you accomplish it, then set another.  Don't just make the start of the "New Year" a time to set life goals, use the entire year to reach those dreams.  Enjoy this one life you have and don't stress over what you don't have or what you want.  Try my "5 Simple Steps to Happier Daily Living" challenge and be thankful each day for what you have.  Happy New Year from me and "Nagano".  We hope your dreams come true.

Please visit the Support page on this blog or my website at www.thetajlgroup.com today if you would like some support reaching your 2014 "Resolution".  Contact me today and take advantage of my web offer "Resolution 2014 Development" for $75  Only $49.99!  Mention this blog when contacting me and receive the full discount!  Happy New Year!

Post Christmas depression or relief? December 26th and beyond.

The hype! The build up!  The event! And.....  it is still only a 24 hour day.  The expectations and excitement of the big event - Christmas - can seem like a let down the day after.  Many go back to work the next day, have the joy of cleaning up, or returning gifts.   Then there is the fact you may have spent hours or even days decorating for this event only to see that you now have to put it away.  Depression or relief?  For this one event of the year many of us put in so much energy that it literally wears us out!  The big question for you is, "What Now?" 

We build up so much energy into the holiday, that we may experience a huge let down.  We changed our rhythm in life and set ourselves on a pace of pure excitement and expectations.  Maybe we had family reunions with members of our family we haven't seen for a long time.  The joy of seeing each other and spending time was so wonderful or overwhelming.  It may have been more than we expected and now that it is over, and we find ourselves feeling empty.  Or...maybe it was such a pain that we find ourselves truly relieved it is over.  What about work and career?  Were you one who worked Christmas Eve and are back the day after Christmas?  Was it a joyful day off or an interruption in your work process?  The morning after as you are having to go back to work can feel quite depressing as you leave and most others you know are still sleeping.  You may be asking, "Why me?"  Or...you might be relieved to be heading back to work.  What about the poor Burger King employees working the drive-up all night Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?  How was their holiday?  To be honest, there are many who do not celebrate the holiday at all.  For those of you who do celebrate, how happy are you that the event has come to an end so that you can get back into your daily routines?  We are all different in our approach to life.  But, "What Now?"  How do you handle the amount of change that has occurred over the past month or so?  Think about this; some radio stations start playing Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving non-stop through Christmas.  At midnight on the 25th as we move to the 26th, the Christmas music stops.  The next morning as you turn on the radio station, there is no more Christmas music.  You were conditioned to hear this music constantly for over a month and then "bam" it is gone.  What does that do to you? Are you having Christmas music withdrawals?  It often feels as though we are being controlled by the media, the retailers, expectations, and other outside sources.  "What Now?"

You need to take some time to "come down" from the holiday rush.  Take a few moments to reflect on the wonderful times you experienced as you prepared and celebrated the holidays.  Don't focus on the "low" point of the season, but on the "high" points.   You might want to journal those special moments you experienced.  Take time to celebrate that you were able to break up your daily routine for a short time and experience life on a different path.  Do not immediately attempt to get back into your routine.  If you are back at work the next day, find ways to take short breaks and reflect on the restful moments you had during the holiday.   Approach your work day as a "game" and not a chore.  Oh, with the Christmas music midnight shut off, you may want to play Christmas music periodically throughout your day. This may help you with the transition.  Do yourself a favor and take a positive approach to the day.  Utilize my 5 Simple Steps to Happier Daily Living (Be Thankful, Scream "This is going to be the greatest day of my life!", Visualize, Compliment and Breathe - get your full free copy at www.thetajlgroup.com)  You may want to plan out moments during the year that you can bring a little "Christmas" back.  Find fun little ways to surprise those around you and yourself with a little "Christmas magic".  It may help you to create a little plan for next year's celebration now that has you doing things throughout the year.  This could help you make this holiday event a more common piece of your daily living.  You might want to re-read some of the cards you received or re-connect those you were in contact with during the season.  Find what works for you as we all have unique ways of coping with change and "let down".  For those of you who are truly relieved it is over, celebrate!  But wait, "What Now?"  

More stress and expectations?  We have to get ready for another celebration?  New Year's Resolutions?  Now we are being hit with preparing for New Years Eve and New Years Day parties!  We need to get that perfect champagne, the right decorations, find the right party, get the food ready for New Years Day and more.  More expectations, change and excitement! My favorite is when we are lead to believe that we can change with the perfect New Year's Resolution.  There was an article in Forbes.com this past year that stated that only 8% of us are successful with our New Year's resolutions.  In 2007 there was a study done that showed that 88% fail in our New Year's resolutions.  With that being said, what is your New Year's resolution?  What is your "What Now?" if you can't be successful in your New Year's resolutions?  Just relax and believe that you will be successful in what you wish to achieve.  I will write about the movement into the New Year in a few days.  For now, just take a simple approach to the "change"-the New Year.  Set no expectations, wake each day expecting each to be the best ever, and remember that things always work out.  Smile, laugh and just lighten up as we move closer to January 1, 2014.  If you are struggling with the change and transitions, please contact me via my website at www.thetajlgroup.com.  I would love to help you. 

Emotions and Pressures escalate during the holidays? Happy Holidays?

The holidays are to be times of great joy and happiness, but for many they become a time of dread and even despair. Why is it that we find ourselves so stressed out during these times of year?  In the school setting we find an unique situation concerning students.  Many students who have "troubled" lives or experiences, do not like the holidays.  As vacations approach, these students become very agitated and disruptive.  Speaking with these students, I find that they do not want to be "stuck" at home and away from the one place they can find some aspect of peace.  They may not excel in school and even complain, but they actually find school to be a place of stability and support.  There are many students who "dread" summer vacation and actually seek ways to find themselves in summer school. Even some adults would rather work and be busy instead of facing the realities of the holidays.  Ba Humbug!   Why is it that we create so much stress and unhappiness in our lives?  Why do we find ourselves wishing the holidays away?

The simple truth comes down to a few reasons: expectations and worry.  The holidays can bring about past memories that were either wonderful or hurtful.  They swell up in our minds and begin to consume our everyday thoughts.  Test this out.  At work, listen to your co-workers and what they are talking about.  Listen to the radio stations as they talk about the holidays.  What is one of the biggest focal points?  Memories.  There is not an issue with remembering past events, but there is an issue of dwelling and creating expectations for current events.  We want our children to have a certain special moment that we experienced or because something bad happened to us we are doomed to have it happen again.  We need to not focus on the past, but create new and wonderful memories.  We have the opportunity to experience a wonderful holiday season.  Don't have expectations and you won't be disappointed. 

Worry is one of the biggest consumers of our precious commodity of time.  I heard a saying once: "One day of worry equals two days of work."  It's true!  Worry is a process that begins to reduce our self-confidence, bring doubt into our everyday living, and take away our control of our own minds.  You need to maintain a positive outlook and positive things will come to you.  I have written this a hundred times:" Don't worry about the past or the future, but live for today."  What you do today will determine tomorrow and yes you will make mistakes.  We are only human!  Instead of worrying about something, use your "gut" and move toward desired results.  See where it takes you!

My friends.  Enjoy the holidays and see what adventure each day will bring.  You want it to be special and you want to find that special gift, but find yourself taking things as they come and not creating stressful situations.  My dad always told me, "Things always work out."  It is true.  We can't worry about what we can't control, we can only influence what is around us.  Seek what it is you are searching for, but be realistic in your approach.  Smile often and lighten up.  Materialistic things aren't the answer to holiday cheer. 

Happy holidays.  Understand the true meaning to you and the holiday's purpose that you believe to be true.  Keep that purpose in the forefront of your mind and move forward.  Don't seek to impress, but hold true to you and your values.  Enjoy the parties and the gifts.  Give and rejoice in what you have.  Share the true joy you find in the holidays with your loved ones.  Don't set expectations, but believe in what you seek and see what happens.  As I was working with a group of middle school aged kiddos yesterday, we talked about how what we bring into a situation is what we get from it.  If you bring a smile and good cheer into your holidays, you will probably get a smile and good cheer in return.  Don't expect to get something in return for the gifts or care you give, rejoice in the giving.

Happy Holidays and know that 2014 will be a magnificent year if you allow it to be. 

Please visit www.savinglindsaylohanandkristenstewart.com and join the quest in helping all who cross our paths find true joy, peace and happiness in 2014.

"5 SIMPLE STEPS TO HAPPIER DAILY LIVING!" This is a gift!

Do you ever find that your days and weeks seem to get overwhelming?  Are you finding yourself feeling sluggish and underwhelmed?  How would you like to have 5 simple steps to make each day a positive event and full of joy?  The pressures of work, the holidays and life in general can seem daunting at times and we find ourselves in the negative end of the battery of life.  Lets move to the positive end of the battery!

I want to truly help and created this special 5 step process all of us to follow.  The steps are simple and don't take much time at all.  In order to thank you for visiting this blog and to help you find joy in your day, I have a gift for you.  It is a 5 day challenge using 5 Simple Steps that will help you experience increased happiness at work and in life!  It really works.  These steps will help support you in achieving days full of happiness and new positive adventures. 

Please visit my website at www.thetajlgroup.com and click on the "5 Steps to Happier Daily Living" link near the top of the homepage to get your free copy!  Enjoy and have fun with this simple process!

Thank you for being you and have a wonderful holiday Season!

What is the story behind the assumption? If others' perceptions are a reality, how can we change the perception?

Through my various adventures in life, I just wrote on this topic on another blog www.savinglindsaylohanandkristenstewart.com.  Thought I would share excerpts of the other blog and apply it to your career and life.  I love the thought that one's perception of us is their reality.  Do you find this to be true?  Look at your social and work life.  Where do you see those times when others' reality of you was in fact untrue?  Why did this occur?  How is it affecting your career and your life?

Individual's assumptions and our actions create perceptions.  These perceptions then become reality for the individuals who created the assumptions in the first place. You are faced with cameras throughout each day just as celebrities are via the "paparazzi".  The cameras are in the forms of others' eyes and perceptions they are creating for you, thus their realities of you.  Look at your past and see those moments when you were frustrated because someone or some group made untrue realities about you. This can truly affect you emotionally as well as your career and social life.  Our focus becomes so centered on the "untruth" that it takes energy away from our job performance as well as our healthy interactions with others.  We need to be careful that it does not begin to control our lives, but that we control it.  Subconsciously we can begin to believe the untruth and allow it to affect our self-esteem if we fail to act upon the situation. But what can we do?  How do we change the perception?

If one's perception of us is their reality, then how can we change their perception?  First, we need to understand that we did or said something to help create that perception in the first place.  Look for the kernel of truth in one's perception of you or their criticism of you. What is it that you actually did?  Once you begin to realize there is some aspect of the situation that you created, then you begin to gain power in changing another's perception, thus their reality of you.  Second, you have the knowledge of what created that "reality" and now you can influence change.  You become empowered with knowledge and can thus begin to change others' perceptions of you.  Take the knowledge you gained and begin to change your actions and overall reactions to the situation.  Begin to ignore the untrue reality and create a new one.  We spend too much time dwelling on the untruth and fail to use that energy to create the real truth.  Third, find humor in the situation.  You need to understand the comical piece of humanity as it is that we are all just human.  We create so much drama through our ability to gossip, theorize, postulate, "assume", and believe everything we hear as absolute truth.  Laugh about life, open up your own mind and create your own adventures. Don't let others create you.  Use your energy to influence those around you and not use it to dwell on the obstacle thus creating more energy behind the untruth.  Your career and life are counting on you!

We can never truly control the actions or thoughts of those around us, but we can influence them.  Our reactions to those around us gives them the ammunition to either support us or attempt to tear us down.  We need to remember that we are going to make mistakes in how we act, react or in what we say.  These mistakes will occur because there is no such thing as perfection, so we need to learn how to recover from them.  When I wrote my book, "Tennis Everyone! An Empowering Way to Improve Your Interactions with Others", I wanted to deliver to the readers the simplicity of controlling the interactions.  We have the power to help influence and recover from all situations if we understand the how. We need to stop overcomplicating, over "dwelling", complaining, and use our energy to strategize our next move.  Like tennis, our life is a long match made up of games and sets.  We need to realize that we are going to lose some games and even some sets, but that we can win the match if we keep life simple.  Look at the humor in those events that are "untruths" about you, use your "gut" to make the next move, seek knowledge to gain power in the situation, and take your next "shot".  What have you done to create one's perception of you?  What assumptions that have lead to perceptions that have lead to realities of others do you have?  Empower your thinking through gaining knowledge by asking questions, engaging in healthy interactions and thus seeing the whole picture.

Please visit my website at www.thetajlgroup.com to find out how you can get a copy of my book if you so desire!  Have a rockn' day!