Emotions and Pressures escalate during the holidays? Happy Holidays?

The holidays are to be times of great joy and happiness, but for many they become a time of dread and even despair. Why is it that we find ourselves so stressed out during these times of year?  In the school setting we find an unique situation concerning students.  Many students who have "troubled" lives or experiences, do not like the holidays.  As vacations approach, these students become very agitated and disruptive.  Speaking with these students, I find that they do not want to be "stuck" at home and away from the one place they can find some aspect of peace.  They may not excel in school and even complain, but they actually find school to be a place of stability and support.  There are many students who "dread" summer vacation and actually seek ways to find themselves in summer school. Even some adults would rather work and be busy instead of facing the realities of the holidays.  Ba Humbug!   Why is it that we create so much stress and unhappiness in our lives?  Why do we find ourselves wishing the holidays away?

The simple truth comes down to a few reasons: expectations and worry.  The holidays can bring about past memories that were either wonderful or hurtful.  They swell up in our minds and begin to consume our everyday thoughts.  Test this out.  At work, listen to your co-workers and what they are talking about.  Listen to the radio stations as they talk about the holidays.  What is one of the biggest focal points?  Memories.  There is not an issue with remembering past events, but there is an issue of dwelling and creating expectations for current events.  We want our children to have a certain special moment that we experienced or because something bad happened to us we are doomed to have it happen again.  We need to not focus on the past, but create new and wonderful memories.  We have the opportunity to experience a wonderful holiday season.  Don't have expectations and you won't be disappointed. 

Worry is one of the biggest consumers of our precious commodity of time.  I heard a saying once: "One day of worry equals two days of work."  It's true!  Worry is a process that begins to reduce our self-confidence, bring doubt into our everyday living, and take away our control of our own minds.  You need to maintain a positive outlook and positive things will come to you.  I have written this a hundred times:" Don't worry about the past or the future, but live for today."  What you do today will determine tomorrow and yes you will make mistakes.  We are only human!  Instead of worrying about something, use your "gut" and move toward desired results.  See where it takes you!

My friends.  Enjoy the holidays and see what adventure each day will bring.  You want it to be special and you want to find that special gift, but find yourself taking things as they come and not creating stressful situations.  My dad always told me, "Things always work out."  It is true.  We can't worry about what we can't control, we can only influence what is around us.  Seek what it is you are searching for, but be realistic in your approach.  Smile often and lighten up.  Materialistic things aren't the answer to holiday cheer. 

Happy holidays.  Understand the true meaning to you and the holiday's purpose that you believe to be true.  Keep that purpose in the forefront of your mind and move forward.  Don't seek to impress, but hold true to you and your values.  Enjoy the parties and the gifts.  Give and rejoice in what you have.  Share the true joy you find in the holidays with your loved ones.  Don't set expectations, but believe in what you seek and see what happens.  As I was working with a group of middle school aged kiddos yesterday, we talked about how what we bring into a situation is what we get from it.  If you bring a smile and good cheer into your holidays, you will probably get a smile and good cheer in return.  Don't expect to get something in return for the gifts or care you give, rejoice in the giving.

Happy Holidays and know that 2014 will be a magnificent year if you allow it to be. 

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