What is the story behind the assumption? If others' perceptions are a reality, how can we change the perception?

Through my various adventures in life, I just wrote on this topic on another blog www.savinglindsaylohanandkristenstewart.com.  Thought I would share excerpts of the other blog and apply it to your career and life.  I love the thought that one's perception of us is their reality.  Do you find this to be true?  Look at your social and work life.  Where do you see those times when others' reality of you was in fact untrue?  Why did this occur?  How is it affecting your career and your life?

Individual's assumptions and our actions create perceptions.  These perceptions then become reality for the individuals who created the assumptions in the first place. You are faced with cameras throughout each day just as celebrities are via the "paparazzi".  The cameras are in the forms of others' eyes and perceptions they are creating for you, thus their realities of you.  Look at your past and see those moments when you were frustrated because someone or some group made untrue realities about you. This can truly affect you emotionally as well as your career and social life.  Our focus becomes so centered on the "untruth" that it takes energy away from our job performance as well as our healthy interactions with others.  We need to be careful that it does not begin to control our lives, but that we control it.  Subconsciously we can begin to believe the untruth and allow it to affect our self-esteem if we fail to act upon the situation. But what can we do?  How do we change the perception?

If one's perception of us is their reality, then how can we change their perception?  First, we need to understand that we did or said something to help create that perception in the first place.  Look for the kernel of truth in one's perception of you or their criticism of you. What is it that you actually did?  Once you begin to realize there is some aspect of the situation that you created, then you begin to gain power in changing another's perception, thus their reality of you.  Second, you have the knowledge of what created that "reality" and now you can influence change.  You become empowered with knowledge and can thus begin to change others' perceptions of you.  Take the knowledge you gained and begin to change your actions and overall reactions to the situation.  Begin to ignore the untrue reality and create a new one.  We spend too much time dwelling on the untruth and fail to use that energy to create the real truth.  Third, find humor in the situation.  You need to understand the comical piece of humanity as it is that we are all just human.  We create so much drama through our ability to gossip, theorize, postulate, "assume", and believe everything we hear as absolute truth.  Laugh about life, open up your own mind and create your own adventures. Don't let others create you.  Use your energy to influence those around you and not use it to dwell on the obstacle thus creating more energy behind the untruth.  Your career and life are counting on you!

We can never truly control the actions or thoughts of those around us, but we can influence them.  Our reactions to those around us gives them the ammunition to either support us or attempt to tear us down.  We need to remember that we are going to make mistakes in how we act, react or in what we say.  These mistakes will occur because there is no such thing as perfection, so we need to learn how to recover from them.  When I wrote my book, "Tennis Everyone! An Empowering Way to Improve Your Interactions with Others", I wanted to deliver to the readers the simplicity of controlling the interactions.  We have the power to help influence and recover from all situations if we understand the how. We need to stop overcomplicating, over "dwelling", complaining, and use our energy to strategize our next move.  Like tennis, our life is a long match made up of games and sets.  We need to realize that we are going to lose some games and even some sets, but that we can win the match if we keep life simple.  Look at the humor in those events that are "untruths" about you, use your "gut" to make the next move, seek knowledge to gain power in the situation, and take your next "shot".  What have you done to create one's perception of you?  What assumptions that have lead to perceptions that have lead to realities of others do you have?  Empower your thinking through gaining knowledge by asking questions, engaging in healthy interactions and thus seeing the whole picture.

Please visit my website at www.thetajlgroup.com to find out how you can get a copy of my book if you so desire!  Have a rockn' day!