What's holding you back from living your passion and your dream career?

In my last entry I wrote about the question of what would you do if you could wake up everyday and do what you wanted or enjoyed.  In this section I want to discuss the answer to what is holding you back.  This seems to be one of the biggest questions I receive about "What Now?"  It can be discouraging when there seems to be an endless process of not enjoying life to the fullest.  How many people do you know who always dream about Friday?  They hate Mondays?  They wish their lives away?  What if they savored each day and enjoyed their life and career to the fullest?  What about you?

What is holding you back?  We can start with the smaller items such as education, skills, experience or a lack of network.  The issue comes in when we need to determine which of these is really the issue that is holding us back from obtaining our ultimate career or lifestyle we seek.  Research is the key to solving these smaller issues.  Take some time right now if you are seeking that ability to wake up everyday with that career you enjoy and find what you believe you lack in obtaining this dream.  Is it education?  Maybe your dream career requires a certificate, so what is it going to take to obtain that piece of paper?  Often times we are convinced through others, advertisements and what have you, that we have to have an education to accomplish anything.  I would like to challenge that notion a little.  If you chose not to obtain that college education or some other level of education, it does not necessarily mean that you cannot obtain your dream life and career.  You may have to work a little harder or be a little more patient, but you can obtain it.  I know several individuals who are happy in life with what they do for a living who have no college education.  These individuals make over six figures and enjoy life.  Now, it may have taken a little longer to get there or maybe some other obstacles, but they made it.  I often instruct individuals on how they can interview and obtain a job without having all the required skills and experience.  Please check our my ebook: "Quick Guide to Success" - Interviewing Strategies.   We tend to sell ourselves short and fail to take the risk.  Everything in life involves a cost or risk of some sort.   Nothing in life is for free as there is always a reaction or cost involved.  So, you lack the entire list of required skills or experience to get that dream career.  Why not just go after it?  Take a chance and see what happens.  If you attempt to get the career and fail, then you learn from the experience and then you must try again.  Just because we fail at something the first time, doesn't mean we will fail the next.  We need to look at these challenges differently.  Gain experience and education by learning from your failures instead of quitting.  Nothing in life comes easy or without a cost.  I keep mentioning cost.  Think of opportunity cost:  "What will you give up today for something tomorrow or what will you give up tomorrow for something today?"  There is a cost in all we do.  I think I had mentioned in another post that what we do today determines our tomorrow.  If you do nothing today, most likely nothing will happen tomorrow to help you reach your dream life and career.  You must take action and accept failure.  How else will you know what education, skills, experience or network you lack?  The term network is crucial to obtaining that opportunity to wake up every day and do what you want and enjoy.  You need to ask, question and seek those who can help you.  What do I mean?  Share what you are out to accomplish and ask for help.  As you share and ask family, friends, business acquaintances, peers, and whomever, they begin to share a network of individuals for you to connect with.  LinkedIn for example is a way for business professionals to connect and build a network of individuals to help them find success.  So, build your own.  Seek out those who are successful in life doing what you want to do.  I had my students find individuals who were successful in areas of interest of my students.  You should have seen some of the responses my students received.  I had a student who wanted to be a dolphin trainer for Sea World.  She wrote to someone associated with Bush Gardens and Sea World.  Her letter was forwarded to someone within the company and she received a lengthy letter outlining what it would take.  It takes college, field work and then a very competitive process to make it as a dolphin trainer at Sea World. My student was given the schools to attend, the courses to take, the individuals to contact, and the process to compete.  She asked and received.  I believe their is a bible verse about asking and you shall receive.  All you need to do is ask.  I love my career helping others in life.  All you need to do is contact me and ask, and we together can find your path to success.  Just ask.  The worst you will hear is no.  Build a network and truly see what you need to do to reach that desired life and career.

Okay.  Now a bigger answer to the your question about what is holding you back.  Money?  Okay.  We can discuss money as a larger issue holding you back.  It seems as though money tends to control our lives.  We get told that we must do this and that and need to have a steady job in order to live life.  We get ourselves caught up in this contract, this material good and thinking that money will solve our problems.  The problem becomes us working for money instead of life fulfillment.  "I will work this job for a few years and then save up to go to school."  Oh right!  Those few years become twenty and that school never happens.  Before you know it, you are strapped down with bills and trapped in the paycheck cycle.  Am I right?  Look back at your life.  Think about where you are today and how you got there.  Hey, I gave up on my dream for many, many years because of a paycheck.  I know.  I know.  Our focus on life becomes money.  We dream about and play the lottery for that big payoff.  We tell ourselves that we can't afford to quit this job or give up that lifestyle.  Sure, we need money in our society to live, but to truly live is to do what we enjoy knowing that the money will come.  It takes a leap of faith to drop money from our thinking and put life success in the front of our heads.  I'm not saying quit your job and do what you want.  I'm saying begin to plan, budget and focus on your dream.  You may have to work that "job" for awhile, but it should only be a means to your dream and not a means to the end of life!  What is the real obstacle holding you back? What makes you think money is the issue or lack of education, skills or experience? 

The true answer lies in one simple word: FEAR.  Fear is what is truly holding us back from obtaining that life and career we truly seek.  Fear of the unknown, failure and even success.  Money really isn't the issue, but the fear of lack of money.  How will I pay my bills? What will I do if I fail?  These are just a few of the questions that probably pass through your thoughts.  We lack trust in our abilities, faith in our resilience and belief in what we can accomplish.  Remember how I said that what we do today determines our tomorrow?  Fear is what dominates our today and keeps our tomorrow from happening!  How do you control fear?  One option is to look at courage.  I think courage means our ability to face the unknown and uncertainty without being overcome by fear or losing sight of our purpose. I looked up a definition of fear as:

Definition of fear (n)

Bing Dictionary

fear

 [ feer ]   

1. feeling of anxiety: an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger

2. frightening thought: an idea, thought, or other entity that causes feelings of fear

3. reverence: respect or awe for somebody or something

Synonyms: terror, dread, anxiety, horror, distress, fright, panic, alarm, trepidation, apprehension

 

Thanks Bing Dictionary!  Look at the synonyms!  That's us.  I bet when you think about your dream life and career, you doubt and fill with anxiety.  I bet you do.  The first things that come to mind are "can't" statements. "I can't afford to do this!"  "I can't do this I'm not good enough!" On and on.  Think about all the can't statements in your life.  They were and are derivatives of fear!  Oh, I bet you also had the "what if" question statements! "What if I fail?"  "What will people think about me giving up a job!" "What if I make a mistake?"  Sure.  Tell yourself these things.  They are all from fear.  Think about what you are told by others as well. "You can't do that!"  "What are you thinking?"  "What if you fail? You can't get your job back!"  Just scream back, "I don't want my job back!"  We need to take control of our own thinking and minds.  Plan out your quest for life fulfillment and living that career.  Sure, you can't just quit tomorrow and not expect to have some fear.  Some fear is okay.  If you have ever played competitive sports, I bet you got nervous before a game.  That nervousness can be real helpful as it helps us focus on the task at hand and readies us for the challenge.  It is the same with your life and career moves.  There is going to be some sense of fear as there is always going to be some element of risk.  Learn to control your fear and trust!  Trust in you and overcome that fear with true courage.  Know that you may fail, but that you can get up and try again.  You aren't going to go anywhere in life without taking some sort of risk.  Do you want to live the dream life and career?  Or, are you satisfied living for the paycheck?

Okay.  Now you need to work on your fear and begin your adventure to true life fulfillment.  What do you do?  Well, keep it simple.  Plan and plan some more.  Research the reality of your dream and know that you will not have all you need at the beginning.  Begin to not accept "no" as any part of the answer to your quest.  Know that there will be failures and that one of the best parts of this quest in the journey itself.  Learn from your failures and successes as well as from others.  Seek answers to your questions and develop a network.  You can't get there if you aren't willing to try.  It is going to take action to reach your goal and not just wishing it so.

My challenge to you:  "Challenge me!  Send me your life and career dream.  Ask me what I think your first step is.  Ask me if I think it is a reality!  Come on and take that first step.  I will challenge you to live your life to fullest!"  That's my challenge.  Know that I won't laugh at you or discourage you, but challenge you.  Come on......you afraid to contact me?  You afraid of some accountability?  Contact me at thetajlgroup@gmail com.  What's holding you back?