What do I do now? My relationship with my loved one(s) is in turmoil?

Life is a never ending course full of obstacles, surprises and hurdles.  Do we create these in our relationships with others?  It is amazing how we get so caught up in ourselves that we neglect our loved ones.  This happens all too frequently in our relationships even when we believe that we are the experts in love and living.  It catches up to us and we can't even see it coming.  I am reminded of an episode of Cheers involving Dr. Frasier Crane and Lilith.  She admitted to Frasier that she had an affair.  Frasier realizes how he had not worked on the relationship and was caught up in himself and life around him.  He shares his realization only to find that Lilith is moving on.  She decides to live with her colleague with whom she has fallen in love with.  Watch the episode and you will get the idea: Season 11 - The Girl in the Plastic Bubble.

The point is, we all tend to neglect or have the hardest time sharing with the ones we love the most.  We tend to take them for granted or it may be that we tend to get so focused on ourselves that we fail to see those closest to us. Maybe we are looking out ensuring that those we work with, those in need or individuals we come in contact with are communicated with and cared for.  Are we farsighted when we should be nearsighted?  It can get confusing as we truly love those closest to us, but we can't even show them this to be true.  Our line of sight is tainted by the colors around us and distractions in life.  What does one do when they find out that they have hurt or neglected their loved one(s)?  How can we repair what has been done?  What Now?

We have been blessed with those in our lives for a reason.  We tend to forget the true purpose of why we encountered and how these individuals were brought into our lives. As with anything, we tend to forget our initial purpose and begin to get caught up in the flow of life.  We fail to step out of the flow and take moments to reflect on what we truly have and have been blessed with.  Why can't we stop for one moment in order to spend some special moments with those we love?  Can't we see the true gifts we were given?

The problem becomes a lack of balance in life and focus on what is most precious to us.  Only when we are faced with loss of life or those we love most, do we reflect and begin to reinvest in these relationships.  We find time to watch TV, meet up with friends, go and help others in need, join clubs and teams, but we don't use our most precious commodity of time to truly "be" with those we love.  There are so many things that are pulling on us from this world.  How can we truly balance what is most important to us?  How?  That's a deep question and one that is often never answered.  Is there a way to at least make an attempt?

We can find ways to repair and rekindle those relationships and find true joy in them.  It is going to take change and even some sacrifice.  We develop habits through repetitive motion.  Take a look at your life and you will see the habits you have developed through repetitive actions.  Our actions do speaker louder than words.  Our loved ones are watching our actions more than they are listening to our words.  We can say something, but our actions are what truly communicate what we are or are not doing.  We have to take note of what we are doing and begin to take new actions in order to develop lasting relationships.  Can you accept your shortcomings and champion change?  Can you?  The first step to change is to admit the need to change.  You need to understand that one's perception of you is in fact their reality.  If your actions are communicating a lack of care, love and understanding, then it is your loved one's reality that you truly do not care.  Accept the small kernel of truth in their criticism of you.  Listen and be present to their actions and words that are communicating their frustrations.  One of the biggest reasons we don't see the trouble coming is because we aren't truly listening to our loved one's actions and words.  Take a few moments and reflect on the past week, month, year or even longer.  What were the signs that you failed to see?  Were you  farsighted?  Were your heart glasses dirty?

Your relationships may seem to be in perfect health and you may feel like this doesn't pertain to you, but be warned that nothing is perfect.  Take time to truly evaluate your relationship with your loved one(s) and you will find areas to work on.  Don't get too comfortable in any relationship.  It can and it will sneak up on you.  Make time daily to evaluate your relationship and create actions to truly show that you care.  Be thankful for what you have been blessed with and treasure your loved ones more than you treasure the things in life.  You can always get another job, but you can't always get another family.  Find balance and display your true love and care for those who are most special to you.  Use your heart and be nearsighted in your relationships.  Do it now.