11 Part Process to Stronger Communication and Relationships! "C"

This is going to be an 11 part posting about how to "Communicate"!  Communication is considered the key to successful relationships and interactions with others.   Let's get started with the first "C" in communicate!

"C" :  Care!   Within any relationship the first thing one must do is care!  If you were to look up the definition of care, you would find that it simply means to feel concern, attach importance or paying serious attention. You will also find that it means to look after or provide for the needs of another and more.  The big question is then, "Do you care?"

For educators, the big key is to care first and curriculum second.  For success in school, the students must feel that they are being cared for and are important.  Often as educators, we can find ourselves so absorbed in the processes and getting through the curriculum that we fail to get to "know" the student.   Finding your base in this type of relationship is essential to the long term success of the individuals.   How do you communicate that care?  What about other relationships?   The same type of reasoning applies as well.  You must care first!  Not only must you care about the other person or persons in the relationship, but you must also care about yourself.   We often hear that we must "love ourselves before we can love others."   If that statement is true, then we must "care about ourselves before we can care about others."  Whatever you believe, you must understand that we truly must care first!

Here are some simple solutions to building stronger communication which leads to stronger relationships even with Yourself!  How to "Care" when we "Communicate"!

1. You need to define how you feel about the other person or persons you are interacting with.  You may not "truly" like the other individual(s), but you must find that purpose for the interaction.  We are all faced with communicating with individuals that we have an interest in as well as those who come into our lives due to work or other situations.  No matter what the case may be, you must find at least one piece that is important to this interaction.  Put aside other feelings or past "events" and seek the importance of this one interaction.  Find it in your inner being to have some sense of concern for the interaction at hand and truly for the others that are involved.  Remember that your actions and approach will determine the outcome of this interaction.
2. Your actions play an important part in this first piece of "Communicate."  When interacting with another individual, your body language needs to express an interest in the other individual(s) or issue at hand.  Go back to the purpose of this interaction and put aside other feelings.  Open up your posture!  When we cross our arms and find ourselves leaning back,  we are expressing "defense", lack of trust and an "I don't care" attitude.  Even if you feel that way, force your body language to open up. Open up your posture by uncrossing those arms, lean forward a little and acknowledge them by simple "head" nods and hand gestures.  This display shows that you are listening and have an interest in what is being said - that you care.  Practice this in the mirror.....you can do it!  Be open and positive!  Smiling is a great touch unless it is something that is very serious.  Know the audience!
3. Let them speak and be open to listening to what is being said.  You can demonstrate "Care" through your responses.  Ask questions for clarification and even paraphrase some of their comments.  Acknowledge their feelings and ask simple questions to help them discover their answers to what they are dealing with.  Let them express themselves, but help them stay focused on what the purpose of the interaction is.  Just be "You" and find it in you to "Care".  Once you find yourself focused on the other individual and not on you, the whole relationship will grow.  Make this a special moment, but set limitations!  When you listen, you must also know the limits of your abilities and time.  You can always refer the other person to another, an organization or a professional.  If the issue being discussed is about you,  listen and respond honestly!  You must also care about yourself and express your feelings and needs as well.  Honesty is the simple, yet effective approach to strong "Caring" communication!

We will complete Communicate....next post is "O"!

Should you contact me via my email at thetajlgroup@gmail.com or via my website at www.thetajlgroup.com and mention this post, I will give you 80% off coaching and consulting services!

They're Here! Time to Discover Your True Career and to Discover You!

It's here!  "MY PATH? THE JOURNEY BEGINS!"  A course designed to help YOU easily discover your True Career and to discover YOU! 

You can now be deeply relaxed in life and complete the course feeling totally re-energized and confident in who you are! Now!  If you have been searching for a simple way to understand how to make goals a reality and to discover that career, you now have an opportunity to complete that search!  I have taught hundreds over the last 6 months through speaking engagements at conferences. Now YOU can go through the information at your own speed and find your life and career path.  This course is designed with videos that explain each section, documents for you to read and complete simple yet effective assignments, and a journal for you to log your progress.  There is also the opportunity to share your thoughts on a discussion board with other students as well as with me!  You can also contact me with your questions, concerns and deeper needs.

This course usually costs around $500.....I'm giving you a special online rate of $24.95!  If you act now, you can put in a coupon code to receive an additional 15% off!  THE CODE IS:  my-path

Also available:  "WHAT NOW? PURPOSEFUL LIFE, CAREER AND LEADERSHIP!"   

This is a more in-depth course than the "MY PATH? THE JOURNEY BEGINS" course.   This course is designed to focus on and  to assist you in determining your purpose in life, career and through leadership. You will discover your purpose statement and utilize your skills, education and natural abilities to determine your true life calling and develop your leadership skills.  You will journey in finding your true life skills, dreams and hobbies while learning to put them into action.  The course is designed to provide you with resources in order to continue the journey throughout your life.  You will collaborate with other learners and be supported throughout the course.  The on-line environment as well as live interaction will provide you with the flexibility you desire. 

This course would cost over $500..... I'm giving you a special blog rate of $39.99!  If you act now, you can put in a coupon code for an additional 10% off!  
THE CODE IS: I-care

To take advantage of these offers CLICK HERE!

Have total confidence in your abilities, competencies, talents and feel confident about your career!

We Are All Made to be Unique, so Love the Uniqueness!

The beauty of life is that we were all made with some piece that is unique from those around us.  Instead of celebrating what makes each of us unique, we judge and demean.  We even criticize our own unique qualities instead of finding how these unique qualities could be of service to us and those around us.

The definition of unique finds itself as being the only one of its kind and unlike anything else.  The unique qualities of us make us distinctive, special, individual and even idiosyncratic!  What?  Idiosyncratic?  That sounds like idiot with some syncratic in it! Oh...it means distinctive, unique and more.  Whew....for a second there I thought being critical was going to be okay as our uniqueness makes us idiots!  Actually it can if our approach is off!  We need to stop thinking of the uniqueness of others as strange and "scary".  How can we build upon these qualities?  How can we be compassionate?

Uniqueness is being limited in occurrence to certain situations, areas and classes as well as being limited to a single outcome or result.  Here is where we are challenged to see the beauty in the unique qualities we all have. Certain groups have unique customs, foods, language and other qualities that identify them.  Within each of these groups we begin to find unique qualities among the individuals.  These qualities can be physical, emotional, attitudinal, and more....  We tend to judge groups based on the outlying qualities and fail to realize that the individuals themselves are different.  Once we begin to know and truly understand the individuals, we begin to realize the beauty of the group.  We see a physical uniqueness of someone or observe a unique behavior and then immediately go back to our perceptions.  Our perceptions are based on our prior experiences, thoughts, implanted beliefs, upbringing, what she said, and more!  We create  our realities of someone or some group with our perceptions based on what we have heard or through "one" experience. We focus on the perception and begin to judge and miss out on the opportunity to grow from that individual or group and even to share our uniqueness with them.   Guess what?  As you throw your perceptions and fail to embrace the uniqueness of those around you, they are doing the same to you!

How do we stop the madness?  It is quite simple.  Mastering the simplicity is an amazing thing.  If you would take an approach that celebrates what is before you, you would begin to see how wonderful YOU are as well as how wonderful those around you are!  Instead of focusing on the failure and creating issues, look at the upside of each person, quality and situation.  From all that seems bad, comes good.  If we would embrace and accept ourselves and those around us for who we are, we would have enhanced relationships and experiences.  You might be like...."What are you talking about?"  I understand because my uniqueness is based on seeing the opportunity for ALL to experience an amazing life adventure!  I see qualities in people they don't see themselves and know the amazing things they could do with their uniqueness.  I tell them!  It isn't hard to see your own potential of your uniqueness if you let go!  To let go is to judge less and love more!  Wake up each day and be thankful for who you are and for others, scream that the day is going to be the best ever and carry your positive attitude with you throughout the day.  When someone begins to fall or fail, catch them.  When someone around you begins to lose faith in themselves and their uniqueness, support them.  We can't change those around us, but only influence them.  If we begin to look at the beauty in the uniqueness of ourselves and others and celebrate it, then those around us will begin to do the same.  As smiles are contagious in life, so are our reactions and behaviors towards ourselves and others!

Go live life and love all the uniqueness of each day!

You Can't Just "Blow" it Away, You Have to "Suck" it Up!

I seem to be focusing on "leaf blowers" this past month!  Thank goodness for the snow yesterday as this will keep the "blowers" from irritating us all!  I wanted to discuss how "blowing" your yard waste around is kind of like how we don't handle issues in life and just keep pushing it around and around.  So...here it goes.

I constantly hear the sound of a leaf blower in my neighborhood and around town during my travels.  I notice how the operator just blows the clippings, leaves and other items out in the street, the neighbor's lawn, or whatever seems convenient.  Why don't the operators use the vacuum option and just "suck" up the waste and discard it?  I know there are those two options on these "leaf blowing" tools.  That is how we often approach our "trash" or issues in life.  We tend to just blow them around and expect everyone else to deal with it or clean it up for us.  It doesn't work as illustrated by one guy with his "leaf blower"!  He must use that thing at least twice a day in order to clean up the area around his house.  You see, the wind blows and just blows that stuff right back from where he blew it away.  What a waste of time and energy on his part as it becomes a never ending process....nothing gets accomplished!   All that is happening is that the "yard waste" just gets shuffled around and around until someone picks it up or nature eventually sends it far away.  The "trash" never gets dealt with and continues to irritate the "leaf blowing man".   We need to understand this illogical approach to cleaning up our "life issues" as well.  We can't just wish it or dream it away, we have to deal with it!  How do we deal with it?

The other option on a "leaf blower" is the vacuum option.  What happens with this option is that the leaves and other yard items get "sucked" up into the machine, mulched and distributed into the attached bag.  The operator then empties the bag as it gets full into a yard receptacle and then continues until the "yard waste" has been cleaned up.  How simple is that?  Well, that can be accomplished in our own lives as we deal with difficult relationships, issues, obstacles...what have you.  You need to deal with the conflict right away.  I don't mean that you go in and "grind" everybody up with your new found idea, but that you go in with some simple strategy and "clean" up the mess.  Whenever we are faced with a conflict, the longer we "blow" it off and not deal with it the bigger it becomes.  Just "blowing" the leaves around doesn't reduce the waste, only allows for more waste to accumulate.  This is exactly what happens when we don't deal with a conflict.  We push it around, share it with others, get more people involved, spend time self-medicating and hoping it goes away, and more!  Stop!  Turn the "blower" to the "suction" mode and begin to deal with it!  Be honest in your approach and find ways to calmly clean up the "mess".  But how?

Start your approach by figuring out what "issues" really exist.  We create most if not all of our issues in life!  How big is the "pile" that is before you?  What have you added that you can clean up first in order to reduce the conflict?  Admit your own part in the issue and "suck" it up first.  Take responsibility and then begin to decide how you will approach the other "trash" left behind by someone else.  Your approach is going to determine how difficult of a time you have!  Be positive and turn the "vacuum" on low.  Don't rush in and try to pick it up all at once!  Take a few pieces at a time and constantly empty the "bag".

Your relationships in life are simple if you allow yourself to make mistakes and move on!  Need some help in this part of your "yard"?  Please contact me through my website at www.thetajlgroup.com, via email at thetaljgroup@gmail.com and listen to our radio show at www.blogtalkradio.com/jeffreylund "Mastering Life's Simplicity"   I want to help you help yourself and others in this world!

Is it better to have Bright Colorful wings or Clear wings in life?

"Is it better to have bright colorful wings that are sweet for all to see or clear wings that produce a sweet product for others to use?"

As you probably guessed, the two characters in this question are the butterfly and the bee.  So?  What's the big deal?  Well, in a basic sense (please don't over think this and criticize me...no go ahead and comment) both the butterfly and the bee do the same task.  They help pollinate flowers and such.  But what do they produce for us?  The butterfly can amaze us with it's beauty and often mesmerize as it flies by.  The butterfly can turn a sad moment into a wonderful moment.  The bee often terrifies some as it has the capacity to sting, but at the same time we can enjoy the fruits of its labor.  How does this relate to life?  To you?

We become very judgmental in life.  We find individuals being criticized because they may be successful and beautiful. You may think that they don't produce anything good for others except to create scandal and what have you.  Look at Hollywood and the tabloids.  All these beautiful successful individuals that just create movies and such.  Many would criticize them for this type of ... well productivity.  Often those who have become successful and such are judged because of it.  They may have flashy cars, large houses, "perfect" teeth and such, but are often criticized even by those they trust.  Why be jealous and focus on their bright colorful wings when you have bright colorful wings yourself.  You only focus on what you perceive to be true instead of focusing on what you can create to be true.  Find your wings!

Often we find individuals being praised because they volunteer and create products or systems to help others.  At the same time we find these very people being criticized because they only focus on this particular group or what have you.  They may cause discomfort in their activities as they strive to help others in this life. They are seen as a menace even though they are trying to create something in order to help someone else. Businesses, salespeople, inventors and such are often criticized when they charge for a product developed to solve a need.  Religious organizations are often criticized for their beliefs even though they are helping others find drinking water, food, clothing and what have you.  Stop focusing on the clear wings of others and develop your clear wings you already have.  Begin to use your wings to create something that you have a passion for and create that sweet honey that others may need.  Find your wings!

The question then remains, "Is it better to have bright colorful wings that are sweet for all to see or clear wings that produce a sweet product for others to use?"   The answer is truly that both are good!  You see as trivial as some of this may seem, they both serve a purpose.  It thus verifies the fact that there is always a cost and always a critic. We spend so much time trying to figure out the reason for something that we fail to realize the beauty is provides.  Both the butterfly and the bee produce something sweet, we just want to make it sour.  Find a way to stop looking at the sour in life and see the beauty it has to offer.  Instead of judging all that is around you, seek to find the beauty in all that you face.  Look in the mirror and see both the butterfly and the bee that are inside of you.  Whatever you have in life, you have been given in order to share with others.  Be thankful for who you are and pollinate this world with your bright colorful wings and your clear wings!

Enjoy this one life you have to the fullest as it is a gift!

Find Your Paths in Life That Lead to Happiness and Success!

With the upcoming show tonight titled, "Advice Night! A Compass to Guide You in Life!", I thought I would briefly talk about this so called "Compass".   This "Compass" is already in our life toolbox, yet we rarely seek that tool.  It is so simple and yet so hard to use.



Just like any tool that you use to build something or fix something, it has a specific use as well other uses you might need.  A wrench is used to tighten or loosen bolts, but sometimes you use it as a hammer!  Well, this "Compass" is designed to guide you down the right career, life, leadership or relationship path.  Like anything else in life, there is always a cost.  The "Compass" will point you in the right direction if used properly, or can take you down the wrong path.

Like any tool, the tool is only as good as the user.  We often hear that "a computer is only as smart as it user".  This is true in anything we undertake.  We are only human and therefore make mistakes.  To truly use this "Compass", you may have to make some tough choices and some difficult decisions.  This "Compass" like any other tool can be manipulated into using for another function.  Be careful as there is nothing for free in life or easy!  This tool creates simplicity and with your common sense it is amazing!

Are you at a crossroads in life?  Check out www.careermadesimple.com to use this "Compass" in order to find your true career or create happiness in your current career.  So....what path do you need to venture on now?  Here is your simple tool.....the "Compass"!

The "Compass" is a question.   "DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?"   In any interaction, relationship, career, job or life in general, we need to ask this question when faced with a decision!  Try it out on any issue you have created in your life as you are where you are today because of the decisions and paths you have chosen thus far.   Just asking the question won't take you on the correct path....you need to know how to use it!

Join us on our new "Career Made Simple! Career Advice Connection!" BlogTalkRadio show via blogtalkradio.com/jeffreylund  on Sunday nights starting April 28th!  (8 pm Mountain Time)  You can get your career advice here and how to use the "Compass" in order to find that ultimate career you are seeking!  Contact me via the website at www.thetajlgroup.com and get your free advice on how to use this "Compass."  Your Path?  The Journey Begins!

Advice Night! A "Compass" to Guide You in Life!

Please join me this Thursday, April 17th at 9 pm Mountain Time as we discuss the one simple tool you already have in your "life tool box" that can help you discover the right path in life!

Please check out this week's show by clicking on the following link:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jeffreylund/2014/04/18/advice-night-a-compass-to-guide-you-in-life#.U0sDgIJUaO0.gmail

Life constantly throws "crossroads" at us.  Which path should I take?  What decision should I make? Is this relationship the right one?  What should I do?   There is a simple "Compass" in life that will help you move in the right direction!

 Should I take this journey?

There will always be unknowns, but at least with a compass we can get a direction!