11 Part Process to Stronger Communication and Relationships! "C"

This is going to be an 11 part posting about how to "Communicate"!  Communication is considered the key to successful relationships and interactions with others.   Let's get started with the first "C" in communicate!

"C" :  Care!   Within any relationship the first thing one must do is care!  If you were to look up the definition of care, you would find that it simply means to feel concern, attach importance or paying serious attention. You will also find that it means to look after or provide for the needs of another and more.  The big question is then, "Do you care?"

For educators, the big key is to care first and curriculum second.  For success in school, the students must feel that they are being cared for and are important.  Often as educators, we can find ourselves so absorbed in the processes and getting through the curriculum that we fail to get to "know" the student.   Finding your base in this type of relationship is essential to the long term success of the individuals.   How do you communicate that care?  What about other relationships?   The same type of reasoning applies as well.  You must care first!  Not only must you care about the other person or persons in the relationship, but you must also care about yourself.   We often hear that we must "love ourselves before we can love others."   If that statement is true, then we must "care about ourselves before we can care about others."  Whatever you believe, you must understand that we truly must care first!

Here are some simple solutions to building stronger communication which leads to stronger relationships even with Yourself!  How to "Care" when we "Communicate"!

1. You need to define how you feel about the other person or persons you are interacting with.  You may not "truly" like the other individual(s), but you must find that purpose for the interaction.  We are all faced with communicating with individuals that we have an interest in as well as those who come into our lives due to work or other situations.  No matter what the case may be, you must find at least one piece that is important to this interaction.  Put aside other feelings or past "events" and seek the importance of this one interaction.  Find it in your inner being to have some sense of concern for the interaction at hand and truly for the others that are involved.  Remember that your actions and approach will determine the outcome of this interaction.
2. Your actions play an important part in this first piece of "Communicate."  When interacting with another individual, your body language needs to express an interest in the other individual(s) or issue at hand.  Go back to the purpose of this interaction and put aside other feelings.  Open up your posture!  When we cross our arms and find ourselves leaning back,  we are expressing "defense", lack of trust and an "I don't care" attitude.  Even if you feel that way, force your body language to open up. Open up your posture by uncrossing those arms, lean forward a little and acknowledge them by simple "head" nods and hand gestures.  This display shows that you are listening and have an interest in what is being said - that you care.  Practice this in the mirror.....you can do it!  Be open and positive!  Smiling is a great touch unless it is something that is very serious.  Know the audience!
3. Let them speak and be open to listening to what is being said.  You can demonstrate "Care" through your responses.  Ask questions for clarification and even paraphrase some of their comments.  Acknowledge their feelings and ask simple questions to help them discover their answers to what they are dealing with.  Let them express themselves, but help them stay focused on what the purpose of the interaction is.  Just be "You" and find it in you to "Care".  Once you find yourself focused on the other individual and not on you, the whole relationship will grow.  Make this a special moment, but set limitations!  When you listen, you must also know the limits of your abilities and time.  You can always refer the other person to another, an organization or a professional.  If the issue being discussed is about you,  listen and respond honestly!  You must also care about yourself and express your feelings and needs as well.  Honesty is the simple, yet effective approach to strong "Caring" communication!

We will complete Communicate....next post is "O"!

Should you contact me via my email at thetajlgroup@gmail.com or via my website at www.thetajlgroup.com and mention this post, I will give you 80% off coaching and consulting services!

They're Here! Time to Discover Your True Career and to Discover You!

It's here!  "MY PATH? THE JOURNEY BEGINS!"  A course designed to help YOU easily discover your True Career and to discover YOU! 

You can now be deeply relaxed in life and complete the course feeling totally re-energized and confident in who you are! Now!  If you have been searching for a simple way to understand how to make goals a reality and to discover that career, you now have an opportunity to complete that search!  I have taught hundreds over the last 6 months through speaking engagements at conferences. Now YOU can go through the information at your own speed and find your life and career path.  This course is designed with videos that explain each section, documents for you to read and complete simple yet effective assignments, and a journal for you to log your progress.  There is also the opportunity to share your thoughts on a discussion board with other students as well as with me!  You can also contact me with your questions, concerns and deeper needs.

This course usually costs around $500.....I'm giving you a special online rate of $24.95!  If you act now, you can put in a coupon code to receive an additional 15% off!  THE CODE IS:  my-path

Also available:  "WHAT NOW? PURPOSEFUL LIFE, CAREER AND LEADERSHIP!"   

This is a more in-depth course than the "MY PATH? THE JOURNEY BEGINS" course.   This course is designed to focus on and  to assist you in determining your purpose in life, career and through leadership. You will discover your purpose statement and utilize your skills, education and natural abilities to determine your true life calling and develop your leadership skills.  You will journey in finding your true life skills, dreams and hobbies while learning to put them into action.  The course is designed to provide you with resources in order to continue the journey throughout your life.  You will collaborate with other learners and be supported throughout the course.  The on-line environment as well as live interaction will provide you with the flexibility you desire. 

This course would cost over $500..... I'm giving you a special blog rate of $39.99!  If you act now, you can put in a coupon code for an additional 10% off!  
THE CODE IS: I-care

To take advantage of these offers CLICK HERE!

Have total confidence in your abilities, competencies, talents and feel confident about your career!

We Are All Made to be Unique, so Love the Uniqueness!

The beauty of life is that we were all made with some piece that is unique from those around us.  Instead of celebrating what makes each of us unique, we judge and demean.  We even criticize our own unique qualities instead of finding how these unique qualities could be of service to us and those around us.

The definition of unique finds itself as being the only one of its kind and unlike anything else.  The unique qualities of us make us distinctive, special, individual and even idiosyncratic!  What?  Idiosyncratic?  That sounds like idiot with some syncratic in it! Oh...it means distinctive, unique and more.  Whew....for a second there I thought being critical was going to be okay as our uniqueness makes us idiots!  Actually it can if our approach is off!  We need to stop thinking of the uniqueness of others as strange and "scary".  How can we build upon these qualities?  How can we be compassionate?

Uniqueness is being limited in occurrence to certain situations, areas and classes as well as being limited to a single outcome or result.  Here is where we are challenged to see the beauty in the unique qualities we all have. Certain groups have unique customs, foods, language and other qualities that identify them.  Within each of these groups we begin to find unique qualities among the individuals.  These qualities can be physical, emotional, attitudinal, and more....  We tend to judge groups based on the outlying qualities and fail to realize that the individuals themselves are different.  Once we begin to know and truly understand the individuals, we begin to realize the beauty of the group.  We see a physical uniqueness of someone or observe a unique behavior and then immediately go back to our perceptions.  Our perceptions are based on our prior experiences, thoughts, implanted beliefs, upbringing, what she said, and more!  We create  our realities of someone or some group with our perceptions based on what we have heard or through "one" experience. We focus on the perception and begin to judge and miss out on the opportunity to grow from that individual or group and even to share our uniqueness with them.   Guess what?  As you throw your perceptions and fail to embrace the uniqueness of those around you, they are doing the same to you!

How do we stop the madness?  It is quite simple.  Mastering the simplicity is an amazing thing.  If you would take an approach that celebrates what is before you, you would begin to see how wonderful YOU are as well as how wonderful those around you are!  Instead of focusing on the failure and creating issues, look at the upside of each person, quality and situation.  From all that seems bad, comes good.  If we would embrace and accept ourselves and those around us for who we are, we would have enhanced relationships and experiences.  You might be like...."What are you talking about?"  I understand because my uniqueness is based on seeing the opportunity for ALL to experience an amazing life adventure!  I see qualities in people they don't see themselves and know the amazing things they could do with their uniqueness.  I tell them!  It isn't hard to see your own potential of your uniqueness if you let go!  To let go is to judge less and love more!  Wake up each day and be thankful for who you are and for others, scream that the day is going to be the best ever and carry your positive attitude with you throughout the day.  When someone begins to fall or fail, catch them.  When someone around you begins to lose faith in themselves and their uniqueness, support them.  We can't change those around us, but only influence them.  If we begin to look at the beauty in the uniqueness of ourselves and others and celebrate it, then those around us will begin to do the same.  As smiles are contagious in life, so are our reactions and behaviors towards ourselves and others!

Go live life and love all the uniqueness of each day!